Deliver ME from ME!

I’ve been on a journey of self discovery for most of the year (probably for most of my life hahahaha) – hence the sparse blog posts & #OOTDs or any sort of active social media life for that matter. 

It started with my spiritual walk, then having to relearn & reaffirm some truths about myself (especially after gaining back all the weight I lost last year) – I’m still learning – then came the decision to join the natural hair movement (NOT as easy as I assumed) –  spiritually, physically & mentally a lot was/is going on but the most prominent lesson I’m learning over and over is that I am my only hinderance. I am in my own way! 

My state of mind, the way I see myself – and I don’t just mean physically – it restricts me in every way in every area. Allowing fear, insecurities and a negative self image to cripple me. Constantly second guessing myself and doubting my abilities, living in a loop de loop of self-doubt & self shame. It’s time I break the cycle!!! 

I challenged myself to take these pics & do a blog post – totally unprepared – I had to get out of my own head , go against the grain, regardless of the weight I’ve gained or how I think I look with my big “boskop/kroeskop” because let me tell you, going natural has challenged every thought and every belief I had about myself, my appearance and my self image – Yes…hair…hair can do that!!! It’s a good thing though – it’s pushed me further out of my comfort zone – literally forcing me to embrace my truth! 

So with big arms, big hips and my now big hair – I smiled (a genuine happy smile) and posed for the camera! 

I’m big and that’s how I am right now. And this is who I am right now. And I want to live right now!!! I’m tired of hiding behind extra weight or heat damaged hair or jiggly thighs – constantly obsessing about the bathroom scale, shying away from cameras…NO… life is happening and I want to live it! 

This past week we said goodbye to 2 friends, 1 went to bed and never woke up – she wasn’t even 45yrs old – the other succumbed to injuries he sustained in a car crash – only 25yrs old – life is too short Lauren, quit fretting the small stuff! 

So this is me – boskoppy, saggy booby (I’m a mom of 3 & I probably could do with some new bras LoL – but good heavens who sets the prices for bras?!?!? – must be a man), big thighed & flabby armed – it’s me and it’s always going to be me, well, atleast physically maybe, BUT there’s another ME inside this ME and that ME is growing & learning everyday & in this moment, somehow, that’s enough! 

Leggings & Tunic: The Fix | Bag: MRP | Sandals: Gifted 

Lu 

xoxo 

1 year older

And a whole weekend of celebrations!

On Saturday I hosted a party to celebrate mine and hubby’s birthdays – mine was yesterday – yay me!!! and hubby’s is tomorrow – yay Bae!!! (Rhyming skills again – LOL).

The theme was “Gender Bender” – All my ladies came dressed as lads and guys came as girls and boy, was it fun!!!

  
  
  

  
  
 The guys really pulled out all the stops for this one and it was worth all the laughs! For once the ladies didn’t have to worry about hair and makeup and partying all night in ridiculously, high heels. Some of the guys actually have newfound respect for us ladies and all we go through to look our best – which brings me to my next point.

I’ve noticed a lot of woman 2 woman hate on social media. Girls dissing other girls for just about anything – she’s so skinny, she’s so fat, look what she’s wearing, look at her hair etc etc etc…like, what’s up with that?

Can we not admire another’s beauty without questioning our own? I honestly don’t know what I would do without the support of the women in my life and that includes people I’ve never met personally but gotten to know through social media. There are countless times when I was feeling some sort of way and I’d log onto Instagram or other and a post will just speak so much life into me. So why then do we choose to use our power and influence to bring our fellow sisters down? It just doesn’t make sense to me.

So, from tomorrow I’ll be posting a #woman2womanwednesday (It’s similar to the #WCW except that it’s exclusive to women – sorry guys!!!) I’ll be using this # every week to salute a woman of my choice – family/friend/follower  – anyone who I feel has inspired me at some point – because let’s be real – sometimes we just gotta hear the good stuff LOL!

So, ladies, please don’t be alarmed if I steal a pic and post some corny stuff about you hahahaha!

  
  
  
  

  
Jeans & Top – Mr Price I Sandals – Fashion Express I Sunnies – Cotton On I Beads – RogeroStyle I Lips – LA Girl Matte Lip in Stunner.

Quote of the Day: 

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years. – Audrey Hepburn

Stay Sassy xxx